It doesn't matter how I feel / Lou 1

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The album












“Wasn’t it bad enough to be killed once?” She thought as instantly pain webbed through her body emanating from the spot from which the wooden stake protruded. As the pain subsided she was left feeling null. That was the word that came to mind. Null. Empty wasn’t right, that implied feeling some kind of boundary in which there was nothing to fill. She remembered seeing a movie once, before she died, that involved some South American voodoo thing, she thought it was. Zombies, people who allegedly held consciousness inside a dead body.



So that was it? She was a zombie now? Not difficult enough to wake up one day and find yourself to be a vampire, but now, killed as a vampire only to become a zombie.


Maybe she wasn’t dead? Maybe just dormant? Prematurely away from the ‘sleep’ that engulfed them at down. The high slit of a window in the warehouse she occupied showed fain indications of dusk. Maybe the stake had missed her heart. Maybe she was still undead and at any moment the sun would set and her body awake along with her consciousness. She could wait a bit, she thought.


The sun clearly set. Yet there was no stirring within her. She was beginning to panic now. Was this death? Could she spend eternity lying awake in a dark warehouse alone? That certainly brought a new consideration of hell.


She tried to take comfort in remembering it wasn’t like the last time. When she awoke as a member of the undead. Dazed, confused, disoriented. She’d gone out after work for some drinks with the others in the office. Granted she’d had more drinks than she’d planned and there was this really nice guy…


Oh yeah, really nice, she sneered at herself. So nice he’d drained her blood.


But he’d gave it back, she mused. And disappeared never to be seen again, the other side of her retorted immediately.


She let out a deep sigh. Though her body indicated no movement and she felt none of the comfort of air being pushed through her lungs.


This was definitely not like waking up as a vampire. That first morning she could barely move, feeling heavy and dragged down. But at least she felt. Remembering the first time she felt that nauseating hunger and realization she was craving blood resulted in another stagnant sigh.


This is ridiculous. She told herself with indignation. I am a vampires. I have no fear. Exceptional strength… She tried to will herself up off the slab of concrete on which she lay.


Again she was struck by feeling null. Never mind moving she could not even feel the confines of flesh.. Though she could close her mind’s eye and not see the world around her.