Stop all the world now / Howie Day
One week led to two and a half. Mother still didn’t know if they would be doing any treatment program. Tests were still being run, she claimed. All knew at that point, regardless of its name or location, she had cancer and it was only a matter of time. The details remained fuzzy.
She was still in good spirits though. Still insisting that no arrangements need be made or discussed, as she was going to be out of the hospital any time. She had a plan for how JP’s husband could rearrange the furniture in the condo, allowing her to not do the stairs and as the office was on one floor, she was certain she could take care of everything she needed.
The hold up she finally explained as I pushed at her was she still couldn’t walk. I saw this as a bigger issue than she did, but there was no discussing it, at least not with her.
G., who was then calling me every four days or so, agreed. She was starting to get annoyed with Mother who had stopped telling her medical news and annoyed with JP who didn’t talk to her at all. It seemed G. and I were in the same boat.
By the end of the month it we learned that Mother was not going home, but being transferred to a bigger hospital with better facilities. According to my mother this was to refine the tests and treatment options. Still not having been granted permission to get information from the hospital, I had no choice but to take her word.
The day they transferred her to University Hospital, we took the trip up. I cornered the doctor in the hallway. He was a young Black man who looked too skinny and too tired. I had caught him just as he was exiting her room, but before she knew I was there. Identifying myself as her daughter, I asked carefully for any information he could tell me. Let’s hear it for big bureaucracy and cultural assumptions. The word “daughter” had granted me the password for information. No charts and files were checked, the doctor simply talked to me in the hallway.
Yes, she had lung cancer, but that was the least of the problem. She also had bone cancer and lymph cancer. Had for so long that it was impossible to know what had come first and it was the bone cancer that made her unable to walk. They were not considering any treatment plan because it was just too far gone. The goal was to keep her as comfortable a possible, as he gave her probably about three months, and she definitely wasn’t going home.
“Does she know all this?” I asked a bit overwhelmed.
“Yes. I know that for sure, as she and I talked about all this.” He assured me, thinking that my question stemmed from somewhere it didn’t
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